I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
