Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
