i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
