i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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