But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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