Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
