At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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