I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
