one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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