Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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