so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
What a dumb baby whore.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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