we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
