youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
