Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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