Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
