I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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