omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
