the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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