You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
