You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love having hate sex.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
