You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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