my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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