Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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