You're completely useless in the revolution.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
