you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
