this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need to calm my uterus...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
