she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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