38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
