if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
