She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
