nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
