Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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