When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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