Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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