I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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