Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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