Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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