Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
