two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
