Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
