hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
