Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
