Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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