his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize