fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
