I feel like I'm in dance class right now
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
