there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
