There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
