Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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