We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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