he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
PS: I just woke up from my shower
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
